I often find that the expectations in my head, brought about by anxiety and uncertainty, are far worse than reality. This applies in both travel and other facets of life.
Granted, these situations aren’t always incredibly serious to begin with.
I think some of the earliest examples of this in my life, and in the lives of many others, come from public speaking or something similar.
I was in orchestra in school, and had to play music in front of people alone several times.
What made that experience more difficult for me was the fact that I have an essential tremor, a neurological condition that makes my hands a lot shakier than they should be.
Since I played violin, this understandably made things difficult. Especially when I played in front of people and got nervous. It would get so bad that I could no longer control my hand and had to stop playing to reset.
Every single time I had to do that again, the fear of it happening would cause it to happen again. It was a frustrating, cyclical process; a self-fulfilling prophecy I couldn’t escape from.
And honestly, most of the time I was up there on that stage, the actual act of playing wasn’t that bad. I made it worse in my head, which made it worse in reality.
Fear
Fear is a funny emotion.
It often holds us back from activities we really want to do in order to keep us safe in case something does go wrong. That’s not necessarily bad. We have that emotion for a reason.
But when it limits you from doing what you enjoy— trying a new food, going on a potentially dangerous hike, going on a long camping trip in the backwoods— is it really worth listening to?
I’ve talked about some of this before in my post about overcoming travel anxiety, but here’s a quick rundown:
Let that fear guide you in making the correct preparations. If you’re camping, make sure you’re prepared for rain, wind, bears, lack of food, etc. before you go.
But don’t let it hold you back from actually going.
No matter how I felt leading up to it, I always went up on that stage to play my violin. I could have easily given up and walked away. I think some part of me still enjoyed going up and playing, as much as I dreaded those recitals in the moment.
To clarify, I was getting private lessons and participating in orchestra by my own choice, but the recitals were my least favorite part of the process. I always picked songs I genuinely enjoyed and wanted to share with other people, whether it came from a game or show or something else entirely.
And I’m glad I went up all those times, even if it did seem like the worst moment of my life at the time.
Travel Expectations and Fear
When you go to another country, especially one very different and/or far away from your own, there are so many concerns that could cause you to worry.
I encourage you to press on anyway. You never know what experiences you might have. Just because you had a bad experience in the past doesn’t mean you will again!
As part of my time in orchestra, I had to do a “solo and ensemble” thing every year. Every music student across the district had to play a solo in front of a judge and be evaluated on their performance. Because of my shaky hands, I never felt that I got an accurate score. Then, finally, I think in my senior year of high school, I had time to talk to the judge beforehand. This made me way more comfortable, reminded me that they’re human, too, and allowed me to explain my condition. When I started playing, my hands never became uncontrollable, and I got a much better score!
You never know how your encounters will defy your expectations, and the stories you hear about people around the world can be easily exaggerated. You might be making them worse in your mind!
Belize
Before I left for Belize— my first time leaving the United States— I had a lot of concerns. I knew I would be around a lot of other people in the same situation, but there are certain stereotypes about Central America:
- It’s dangerous
- The countries are poor
- The water isn’t clean
- There’s drugs
- You might get kidnapped
- You might get a weird disease
Now, I’m not going to say that any of these are entirely false. But most people aren’t going to have these problems. There’s always a risk of running into these issues, even when you’re at home.
And there are also solutions to some of these problems. In Belize, they use water coolers with jugs of distilled water to have clean water, which helped to avoid diseases and other health hazards hiding in the natural water. You can find these jugs in quite a few places around towns.
Hearing about dangerous encounters on the internet makes it sound like they’re constant threats, and like that’s all you’ll encounter.
When I arrived in Belize after some problems with flight delays (another possible source of fear), I encountered so many nice people. We were advised to stay away from a specific park frequented by shady people, and were told not to go to one of the bars where they didn’t like tourists. Besides that, while I felt unsettled for a little while, I eventually grew comfortable with the environment around me.
Be aware, be smart, be cautious, but don’t avoid the experience entirely.
My first full night involved rolling brownouts. When the power in my cabana suddenly went out without warning, I became worried that it would be the norm. I didn’t know it was a planned outage, either. This was a blessing in disguise, though, as it got me to go outside and talk to other people about it instead of sitting alone inside!
Romania
I had a similar experience in Romania.
There are certain perceptions about Eastern Europe, at least in the US. Ideas of big, grumpy people who want to mug you or start a fight often come to mind.
I even remember my mom wanting me to make sure that the job I was headed there for wasn’t a front for something. It absolutely wasn’t! It was Romania’s English Cool Camp, a summer camp for children to get more exposure to English!
But what I saw in Romania was far from any of that. I encountered some of the nicest, most outgoing people just within the first few hours of entering the country! I talked about it more in my post about my first week in Romania, but I don’t know that I would’ve made it to my destination without them!
This trend continued throughout my time there. Sure, there was the occasional grumpy person, but you’ll find that anywhere.
Most people want the best for each other, and will help each other out when they can!
Conclusion: People are People
Nearly every part of the world has some stereotype about the people elsewhere that paints them in a negative light. They might be
- Arrogant
- Angry
- Violent
- Thieves
- Criminals
- Selfish
- Grumpy
- Lazy
And so many other negative traits. People will paint other groups in a more positive light. And they’re always different groups depending on where you are.
But think about it this way: if everyone sees those traits as bad, doesn’t that mean that most people aren’t like that or want to avoid them? Sure, we can’t always be aware of our own flaws, but I can’t think of many parts of the world where those traits are seen as good or are particularly sought after.
People want to be nice. They want to help each other, and they want the world to be better. Not everyone agrees on how that should be done, but we’re all after the same ideals.
Don’t let a few bad apples spoil the batch!
